23 Jun 2026 01:59:12
I don't know where I saw it, but I saw it! ?
I think it may have been Athole that posted?
Thank you for your thoughts and your kind words.
I spent 46 years of my life saying I was fine, until I was in crisis.
I know it's exceptionally difficult for men to speak up about their feelings and I just want to say: I see you. I am female, as most of you will know by now, and spent much of my life suppressing and repressing things due to different circumstances.
I was recently diagnosed with complex PTSD. I had no idea that childhood experiences and growing up in an addictive, dysfunctional family—combined with narcissistic abuse—could have such a profound impact on me. Which in turn led to my own addiction issues. Albeit not alcohol and drugs, but addiction all the same, and it can come in many forms. I thought I was doing OK at life; turns out I was just surviving and getting by until I eventually broke down.
I now have a trauma therapist and I attend 12-step recovery meetings, including ACA (Adult Children of Alcoholics and Dysfunctional Families). It's going very slowly. CPTSD means I'm very scared of the world and hyper-vigilant. I appreciate everyone's support, concerns, and suggestions of support resources. I can't find the original thread, so if anyone would be willing to drop some of those links or resources here again, I'd be very grateful. I think Ayrshire was going to get back to me, but I don't know if they ever did.
I just want to say, if anyone here is experiencing the same or is struggling with addiction of any sort, it's not your fault and I can relate. If you haven't yet found support or recovery, please do it for yourselves first and foremost, but also for any kids you may have. Give them the chance that we never had and break that cycle.
I say all this not for pity, but to let you know if you're struggling, you're not alone and I see you. I waited too long to speak up, and I feel it's important to do so now. Even if it helps just one person—please don't suffer in silence, you deserve to heal.
I also want to extend my empathy and compassion to the others who are going through a tough time. I read that one of our own is dealing with the loss of his daughter. I truly hope you are receiving support if you feel you need it. I got help from Cruse Bereavement when my Dad passed away. I can only begin to imagine the amount of pain losing a child brings. Sending you prayers and strength. I know there are others who are dealing with grief and different difficulties right now, too.
Be kind to yourselves.
Much love and respect,
Gazza x
{Ed078's Note - best comment of the year for me Gazza.
23 Jun 2026 06:33:02
Super post, Gazza, and of you don't mind me saying so, very brave. I know it's a faceless forum, but that post really got to me. I hope you find peace and contentment in your life.
23 Jun 2026 06:54:16
Ayrshire Murphy and StevieG posted some gd suggestions, Gazza, can't seem to find them, great post btw, small steps, u be you and you'll get there. ??
23 Jun 2026 07:04:27
Superb post, Gazza, and absolutely touched my heart, pal. ♥️ I absolutely hope and pray you find the peace you deserve, my good friend. ? Keep your chin up, and everyone on here is behind you, Gazza. ? We're all here if you need to talk.
23 Jun 2026 07:48:02
Such a good post, Gazza. I hope you find peace as you move forward.
23 Jun 2026 08:48:54
Gazza, I will hold my hands up due to the nature of my work and some personal stuff regarding my wife's family dynamics, a house move, and raising a toddler, I never did get back to you as I struggled to find the time to go find some stuff. I am more than happy to carry out any research to support you now, as the work issues have been resolved and move complete and family disengaged from.
Fantastic post, and just shows what this forum can be rather than the folk coming on to do nothing but nitpick, spread negativity and conflict.
Well in Gazza.
23 Jun 2026 09:36:40
Courageous and inspirational posting, Gazza.
23 Jun 2026 10:20:46
Great post, Gazza, wishing you all the best.
23 Jun 2026 12:08:50
Great post, Gazza, can relate to a lot of that, pal. I truly hope you get the help you need and deserve. A huge well done for sharing that on here. I know it couldn't have been easy for you. I feel so ignorant asking this, but which one of our group lost a child?
23 Jun 2026 13:19:56
Goingfor56, BB, first Father's Day without his girl, he lost her at Christmas, bud. ?
23 Jun 2026 15:03:25
Great post, Gazza, I hope you more than any recovery, but to become the best version of yourself. It sounds like it will take time, but every journey worth taking starts with a single step.
I bet most folk on this forum are dealing with or have had to deal with some personal issues, and will be able to relate to your situation, and if you got some solace in writing your post, then please don't hesitate to update us all in the future as it was good to read something positive.
Good luck!
23 Jun 2026 15:12:26
Oh God, yeah I remember Goingfor56 sharing that at the time, Fork. Thoughts and prayers with you, Goingfor56, I can't even begin to imagine, pal. ?
You're always in my thoughts too, Fork. ?
23 Jun 2026 15:37:42
Appreciated, bud. ?
23 Jun 2026 15:44:43
Gazza,
Hope you're doing okay and thanks for that posting. It's puts all the squabbles to one side and puts life in perspective. Agree with Ed re comment of the year.
Great perspective.
I4M
23 Jun 2026 15:51:32
Went through a proper hard time a few years ago and came close to the brink. 6'3 super fit and superstrong guy is the persona I hid behind for a long long time. Inside I was crumbling. Thankfully I spoke to some people and everything seemed instantly better knowing there was someone who actually wanted to listen and offer counsel. Best decision I ever made. It was a long journey don't get me wrong but with each day it gets better and now I can safely say, inside am dancin!
I was too proud and genuinely didn't think anyone cared and I think that's the mistake most make.
Highlighting this sorta stuff should be more open. There's help there where needed just don't be too proud and suffer in silence the way I did. Doesn't matter how insignificant it is.
Absolutely perfect post Gazza.
Ed, surely if we ever have end a season awards . gazza gets post of the year!
23 Jun 2026 19:04:19
Thanks, boy blue, and condolences on your loss, mate.
23 Jun 2026 20:34:48
Hi Gazza - It was me that posted. It just dawned on me that I hadn't seen a follow up from you.
A fantastic post above, and that's the thing about this forum.
We may have our differences, but as soon as there's a moment of crisis or pain, everyone rallies round.
I also forgot to mention fork in my OP. Hope you're doing well too, bud.
24 Jun 2026 01:30:44
Thanks, gf56. I hope you're doing as well as can be under the circumstances, mate. Words honestly fail me at this point. Keep your head up, hold those memories dearly, pal. I know it's not much, but to yourself and fork, I'll always be here for a chat for you both. ♥️