Rangers Banter Archive September 19 2011

19 Sep 2011 22:44:55
Look at this? lol

Facts about the words best defender
Biography
1- Dorin Goian doesn't have a middle name, nothing gets between Dorin Goian
2- Dorin Goian doesn't sleep he waits
3- Dorin Goian wakes his alarm clock up in the morning
4- Dorin Goian can draw a perfects circle with a ruler
5- Dorin Goian can win a game of connect 4 in 3 moves.
5- When Alexander Graham Bell invented the telephone he already had 3 missed calls from Dorin Goian
6- Dorin Goian bought a Tesco's bran loaf in Asda
7- Dorin Goian watches videos in a DVD player
8- Dorin Goian doesn't wear a watch he decides what time it is
9- Dorin Goian can make water boil at room temperature
10- Dorin Goian stole Voldemorts nose
11- Dorin Goian can do a wheelie on a unicycle
12- During a recent exotic foreign holiday, Dorin Goian was bitten by a shark. That shark died shortly afterwards
13- Dorin Goian can cut through a hot knife with butter
14- The US Navy seals offered Osama Bin Laden a deal! Either have a square go with Dorin Goian or we execute you! He chose the latter!
15-Ghosts sit around a fire and tell Dorin Goian stories
16- Dorin Goian can piss into gale force winds
17- Dorin Goian killed a Giraffe with a Christmas card
18- Chuck Norris washes Dorin Goian’s car for free
19- Dorin Goian was not born, he was forged from steel
20 -Dorin Goian can actually delete his recycle bin on his computer
21-Dorin Goian can take on a horse with just a blade of grass
22-There was no such thing as a Giraffe until Dorin Goian uppercutted a horse
23- Dorin Goian can slam revolving doors
24- Dorin Goian sleeps with a pillow under his gun
25- Life insurance costs are based on how far away from Dorin Goian you live
26- Dorin Goian uses Mr. T as a foot rest
27- Dorin Goian doesn't celebrate goals, goals celebrate Dorin Goian
28- Dorin Goian doesn't do pushups. He pushes the world down.
29 Doran Goian can throw a balloon through a brick wall
30- Hugh Hefner goes to stay at the Dorin Goian mansion
31- If Carlsberg did defenders...
32- How many Dorin Goian's does it take to change a light bulb? Zero! The bulb changes itself Coz the dark is scared of Dorin Goian
33- Dorin Goian's penis has its own elbow
34- Superman wears Dorin Goian pajamas
35- Dorin Goian can find the corner in a circle room
36- Dorin Goian is so hard Allan McGregor is scared to look at his missus
37- Dorin Goian does not pay for prostitutes, they pay for him
38- Rangers didn’t sign Dorin Goian. Dorin Goian signed Rangers
39- Dorin Goian counted to infinity......twice.
40- Dorin Goian doesn't have nightmares! Nightmares have Dorin Goian’s
41- Dorin Goian sent Jesus a birthday card on December 25th and it wasn't Jesus’ birthday. Jesus was too scared to correct Dorin Goian and to this day December 25th is known as Jesus' birthday.
42- When the hulk sees Dorin Goian he turns back into Bruce Banner
43- Dorin Goian can touch MC Hammer
44- Raoul Moat shot himself when he heard Gazza was bringing some bread, some chicken and Doran Goian down to see him
45- Dorin Goian went in to Ikeas way a set of Alan keys and a screwdriver n built up aw the furniture
46- Colonel Gaddafi isn't hiding from the rebels, he's hiding from Dorin Goian
47- The bogey man checks under his bed for Dorin Goian
48- Dorin Goian had sex on a tractor. Some liquid dribbled onto the seat and now that tractor is called Optimus prime
49- Goian once left Charlie Mulgrew in the car while he went shopping
50- Dorin Goian once through a rock into the Irish Sea, it is now known as the Isle of Man
51- Is it a bird? Is it a plane? No it's Dorin Goian
52- Jesus could walk on water. Dorin Goian can swim through land
53- Dorin Goian doesn’t flush the toilet.... he scares the s**t out of it
54- When you open a can of whoop-ass, Dorin Goian jumps out
55- Dorin Goian ordered a Big Mac at Burger King, and got one
56- Dorin Goian was in a petrol station in Glasgow today! As he approached the checkout he reached for his wallet n out fell samaras
57- Dorin Goian scarred the black out of Michael Jackson
58- Dorin Goian doesn’t need to swallow when eating food
59- Guns don’t kill people, Dorin Goian kills
60- I know most of the Dorin Goian Facts are just Chuck Norris Facts....but try telling that to Dorin Goian.
61- Darwin was wrong with his evolutionary theory. The earth simply consists of animals Dorin Goian has allowed to live!
62- Dorin Goian built the hospital he was born in
63- It's said that the devil once sold his soul to Dorin Goian
64- The sun wears sunglasses to protect itself from Dorin Goian
65- Dorin Goian doesn't take steroids! Steroids take Dorin Goian
66- He doesn’t dive to the left and he doesn’t dive to the right but Dorin Goian shags as many birds as he wants every night.
67- Allan McGregor was put off at Celtics second goal because of Dorin Goian’s sex appeal!
68- Fans pleaded with Dorin Goian to stay at Palermo as he had single-handedly been protecting the whole of Sicily from the Mafia
69- Dorin Goian was born in the middle of a gang fight
70- On the 8th day god made Dorin Goian, and the devil shat himself
71- Dorin Goian got asked to leave the Nazis for being too savage
72- Dorin Goian doesn't need to wear sunscreen cos the sun is too scared to burn Dorin Goian
73- Manchester police are looking to buy Dorin Goian vest
74- Dorin Goian doesn't were condoms, condoms were Dorin Goian
75- Mother nature has a tattoo of Dorin Goian on her boobs
76- Windows 7 was Dorin Goian idea
77- What was going through the minds of Darin Goian’s' victims before they died? His shoe.
78- Dorin Goian has walked on the surface of the sun
79- The Earth gets its power from the sun! The sun gets its power from Dorin Goian!
80- They once made Dorin Goian toilet paper but it wouldn’t sell as Goian doesn’t take s**t from anyone

81- Dorin Goian only masturbates to pictures of Dorin Goian

82- Dorin Goian was once confronted by Dracula himself, in Transylvania. Dracula is now dead.
83- Dorin Goian once killed a bear by looking at it
84- Jesus wore a t-shirt that said "what would Dorin Goian do"
85- Dorin Goian appeared in the Rangers Hall of Fame whilst still playing for Palermo
86- Dorin Goian won the 2005 world series of poker despite only holding a 2 of hearts, 7 of clubs, a 'get out of jail free' card, and an Ally McCoist Panini sticker
87- Dorin Goian doesn't have a shadow because it's too scared to follow him around
88- Dorin Goian once brought a dragon into the den
89- Instead of testicles Dorin Goian has a grenade and a rhino in his scrotum
90- Dorin Goian has already been to Mars, that's why there are no signs of life there
91- When Lennon goes to sleep every night he checks under his bed for Dorin Goian
92- When Dorin Goian threw his boomerang it was too scared to return
93- Dorin Goian shaves with a chainsaw
94- Dorin Goian can eat soup with a fork
95- Dorin Goian gave Rooney his hair back!
96- Dorin Goian once shot down two German fighter planes by pointing his finger in the air and shouting bang
97- 4 young men had a dream that dream became Dorin Goian
98- Dorin Goian created fire by rubbing ice cubes together
99- For every £5 Celtic spend, Goian farts out a tenner
100- Dorin Goian can tie his shoes with his feet
101- Dorin Goian beat Federer, Nadal and Murray in a 3 on 1 tennis match using a plastic spoon as a bat
102- You may also recognize Dorin Goian as Filipe Sebo, Lionel Messi, Keith lemon and the blue power ranger. Special guest appearance as Bruce lee's left leg and Mr. T's gold chains
103- it’s true that Santa Claus did exist......until he put Dorin Goian on his naughty
104- He cuts scissors with paper
105- Goian blew up an airplane with a bicycle pump
106- The queen uses Dorin Goian stamps
107- Doran Goian once strangled a man with a cordless phone...
108- Doran Goian taught Charlie sheen! He won!
109- Dorin Goian doesn’t age. He levels up
110- Dorin Goian doesn't read books. He stares at them until he gets the information he requires.
111- Dorin Goian completed Sonic the Hedgehog using Super Mario

Psalm.95.7...for he is our god and we are the peop

PMSL. 22-There was no such thing as a Giraffe until Dorin Goian uppercutted a horse. F**kin class. WATP Ger4life

A bit much

I loved no: 70, good fun and very funny
Doran Goian is " GOLIATH " in a Rangers strip............

He is a good player, but what a boring list that was. Read first 10.............not exactly funny. Humour out of the jeremy clarkson comedy school.

Neil Lennon is a world class manager and celtic fc are the most respected club in the world.

Now that is humour.

That's brightened my morning up PMSL! We are all Dorin Goian!

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That's put the kiss of death on him now! You just know he's going to break his wee toe against Dunfermline and be out for a month lol.

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Pissing myself here in work - good work!

Dorin Goian can piss into gale force winds
Dorin Goian can piss through gale force winds.

They are the best ones lol

Goian stole lord voldermorts nose lmao excellent cheered me right up lol

19 Sep 2011 23:01:52
Well done the mighty G@rs! You deserved your win, however I'll be back with pelters for you sorry lot. Our time will come!....Miko

You're back Miko. Nice to see you

Could you remind me of the score yesterday please?

19 Sep 2011 20:56:08
If the Celtic fans are the 'best in the world' why were they silent from halft time onwards. Why do they copy other teams i.e; doing the Poznam?? Timalloy any answer, were you on mute yesterday as well.

GovanFR

Ha ha Govan FR, another bear that cannot read, I was on here yesterday and today. Just for your benefit, I will say it sloowwlly you deserved the victory yesterday well done.
Ha ha Celtic copying the poznan, er what were your own fans doing yesterday, doing it poorly by the way, watch our Celtic Huddle to see the right way of doing it.
Last year at Parkhead we won 3-0 and played you off the park, we will regroup and do the same again. SPL title coming back to paradise. hail hail Timalloy (always available)

He wont come back until Celtic win the Scottish cup which looks like it will be a long time just to win that and when ever they do win the Scottish cup we will see them coming on here saying there the best while we have ten in a row by that point and a couldn't hardly here there fans the only time wee heard them was when they scored

Timalloy wasn't at the game yesterday he was in the pub watching it. So he said laptop supporter if you ask me.

Who cares what they do mate. They're second rate. Always have been always will be and no doubt they will give you a crappy excuse fir an answer. We're the one smiling. WATP.

Govanfr, please save your breath, you will need it later when you blow up your DATE for tonight LOL Timalloy

Timalloy the post was from yesterday so I was pointing out that you were silent if you were at the game but I doubt you are a fan that actually goes to matches. It is the poznam, don't rename it the 'huddle' to make it sound as though you lot came up with it, ye we were doing it on Sunday for a wind up. Don't worry timalloy you don't use breath to type :)

GovanFR

19 Sep 2011 20:36:42
good to see rangers winning with a good strong team yday,thats without makay bedoya weir ortiz ness mcculloch wallace and you can even stick broadfoot in there.we also have perry and mcmillan coming along great aswell, i actually think we have a good balanced squad, if we have signed this argy boy aswell then theres plenty of competition. we need davis jelavic and naismith injury free all season and 4 in a row will stroll in. would liked to still see fleck and hutton go out on loan for some game time,it can only benifit us.

19 Sep 2011 19:45:29
Bring in a salary cap for players. 2 up 2 down in SPL. Maybe have a Five foreigner rule for all teams. Make the Champions league for Champions only again, not 2nd 3rd or 4th placed teams. Automatic qualification for all top flight league winners in Europe. Bring back the Uefa Cup knockout stages instead of the Europa league as some Premiership teams treat this competition as a joke and deliberately get knocked out so this will let the teams who want to compete get on with it and bring back the Cup Winners cup as this will provide teams with an incentive to actually win cups and a realistic route into Europe for some teams and also provide more excitement for fans. Only my opinion but these are just a few of the rules and competitions that have been restructured in recent times and Scottish football has subsequently gone downhill.

Great post, I feel the same way and I'm sure most of us agree.

GDog

19 Sep 2011 17:05:37
Mo edu is never a football player in a million year.
The gers grim reaper

Are you a tim?

Might not be a footballer but still pissed all over your mob yesterday.

lennon said kayal is a £10 million player
and ki has the potential to be a £10 miilion player.

if thats the case then based on yesterday rangers can expect £15 million for edu.

and back to your own page, your not pullingf the wool over anyones eyes coming on heresaying we may have beat celtic but not the tax man.

then mo edu is never a player.

what next we are going to win 4 in a row but celtic are still better.

your lot got destroyed yesterday

we welcome the chase AGAIN.

PATO

Your the one who didnt make it so i think he is more successful then you

Edu`s role on Sunday was simple, he filled in the middle to allow Davis to attack and thwart Kayal and Ki.I t wasnt dynamic or sexy but it was bloody effective.Some of you should read the various reports from ex pros from both sides of the OF who also thought this.

It still does not excuse his lack of positional sense. He got by as he has a good engine. I hope he comes good as McKay is waiting to take his place and when Ness is fit he'll be back in team. WATP

19 Sep 2011 16:23:12
Scrap League Cup in Scotland and England and Create a Briish Cup. How many of the top 6 teams in England take the league cup seriously? If they were told that there would only be the EPL, FA Cup and Europe to concentrate on they would be delighted.
Introduce a cup including the top 6 from the SPL, The 6 teams that didn't make the european places in the EPL and the 5 teams who failed in the Championship playoffs and the team that finished a 1 place outside the playoffs. Could you predict an outright winner of a competition that included Rangers, Celtic, Hearts, Newcastle, Everton, Cardiff, Nottingham Forrest ect... It would give football up here a massive boost and surely this would interest sky. The gates that english teams would recieve from the old firm would be beneficial and they would be involved in a cup competition that they have a realistic chance of winning. What's your thoughts bears? J1985

Good idea but doubt it would ever go through but everything started with an idea.

How many teams in England take Scottish football seriously?? lol. {Ed003's Note - A British cup could also give Scotland an extra europa cup place if they took it serious and one of them managed to win it..?? }

19 Sep 2011 14:31:13
C Bear tell me your joking?
has someone actually used your name ... Edu was a as good as he has been for long time ! the pressure he put on the celtic midfield was first class... the spaces he plugged showed real discipline and awareness. Celtic created 3 chances that i can remember in the whole game y.day. Hoopers goal, Greegsy's mistake and the corneer they hit the post. The defence must have had something to with that .. and believe it or not if anyone was to blame for hoopers goal id say it was Gioan he was marking Hooper but lost him .... the team were not attempting to play offside.

All that aside i need to stick a mention out for future captain Naisy..... He made Gattuso look lazy yesterday !!

Germinator

19 Sep 2011 14:23:04
In response to: Bears, is there any truth in the rumour!

Yes Kris Commons was raging because he was told couldn't bring his KFC (Family) Bucket Meal into the stand with him to watch the world famous Gers yesterday? He was told that unfortunately we don’t have troughs at Ibrox, no grunt fodder at Ibrox I’m afraid, unlucky saggy tits!! Jog on, Ha! Ha!
Its great being a bear.

19 Sep 2011 13:38:53
Just a thought bears on the next few weeks ahead and I believe we have a chance to put a lot of pressure on the tims.

IF, and I mean a big IF.............

We play dunfermline, who have been playing well so by no means an easy 3 points, a win here then allows us the chance to play Killie at ibrox in the game in hand whilst they are in europe, so we could open a 7 point gap.

This would then leave celtic playing catch up in the league knowing every game is a must win.

They also have to deal with the fact they have 5 extra midweek games in europe, followed by 5 sunday fixtures in the league.

This means if we keep playing game by game we can put pressure on each week, knowing we will play first before celtic kick a ball.

Just a thought.

East Enclosure Loyal

19 Sep 2011 12:50:02
This is what footballs all about, don’t you just love the controlled attacking style of football that we all remember the GREAT Rangers teams playing.... well it was a pleasure to see the boys playing yesterday, I’m not going to talk about them from the dark side save to say thank **** we missed out on Glenn Loovens' what a diddy!

I put my hand up thou, he has put his doubters to bed, big Kyle, bursting with confidence, I see this lady going from strength to strength, I can see great things in the coming months.

I see us going from strength to strength, I do believe this is going to be an outstanding season, I also think we will see some not so strange faces in at the stadium of dreams at the end of the year, and what with domestic silverware and 4 in a bouncy bouncy!.

.WELL DONE Ally...Magnificent job...Follow.!! Follow.!!
In the wee man we trust, Its great being a bear.

As we are out of europe, i feel the treble is on this year. understand its early on in the season but its a possibility. I agree with what you've said... but Kyle isn't a lady haha. Muzz

Glen loovens and kris commons
that is two favours they done us

19 Sep 2011 11:36:26
Did you all notice that the team performed when Super was down shouting his mouth off in the dug oot and not sitting up in the stand in fromt of the blonde.
Get back doon there coisty with the trackie and boots on

No chance A rangers manager should always wear a shirt an tie at games and show class , keep the tracksuit for training ,do you really want him to resemble any timmy managers that spring to mind.

19 Sep 2011 10:34:31
Hey guys great win yesterday, thank feck I'm off today.can't believe people are saying edu was great yesterday? He had a decent game compared to his usual guff. Bocanegra was crap as well. He caused the first by playing hopper onside and was guilty of that a cppl of times. The rest of the team were superb second half. 4iar

C-bear85

C-bear85
Cant believe you are saying Bocanegra was crap, captain America was well good yesterday. Our 25,000 grand a week crap was to blame for the goal he just let hooper go by him and then jogged back into the box.

Just another example of how clueless you are about football in general and Rangers as a whole c bear 85 ! Both Edu and Bocanegra were part of an excellent team performance, and both were individually sound. You need to stop making negative coments, especially after humiliating the poor relations, 4 in a row

I agree, Played and won as a team,
Only downside was Sh*gger, since he messed up the only thing he had to do the whole game. lol.

Edu, and Bocanegra were immense, Whittaker was a bit dodgy defending but had a great second half. C'mon bears, what does this team need to do to get your full support.

Not Edu's biggest fan, but He never put a foot wrong all match, and stopped celtic playing in midfield, Ki and Kayal, never had a minutes piece.

Mark my words, that result and second half performance has put the Sh*ters right up the sellick, as there was a huge gulf in class in that second half, they showed no bottle, composure, team spirit, or the ability to cash in on a free gift.

Rikkisixx

19 Sep 2011 04:16:06
the best way to guage it is to look through both teams and try and find 1 celtic player who couldve got in to that rangers team today. we have 2 strikers well on the way to scoring 20 plus goals this season, with naismith, davis and wylde providing great service. walter was great, but i prefer the way ally went about it today, went at celtic and showed them whos better when we match up to them man for man. i completely believe pace and energy is the way to go as itll tear defences appart. only downer for me was mcculloch coming on, i hate seeing him being involved because he changes everything, slows play down etc.

That was the whole point of bid jig coming on was to shore up the mid and slow the game down make the other mob chase the ball !

19 Sep 2011 01:57:15
jus a msg 2 say well done ally.proved alot of ppl wrong the day.and 2 the ppl sayin edus nt gd enough?wt u talkin about? he was amazn 2day? if ibrox gets behind hin hes amazin but if we get on his back hes awful.he had ki and kayal in his bak polkt.well done rangers

19 Sep 2011 01:11:30
Rangers have been dominating sellik 4-2 long

I see wot u did there

19 Sep 2011 00:21:17
i admit i wanted mccoist out after our shocking performances in europe now i feel a right dick today was a passionate and skillfull performance from everyone of those players goian was rock solid and most of all i thought naismith was immense this little moaning b**tard is impressing me big style the wee guy has something about him good goal from jela but still think hes short on something this season hope he gets it back and if we can work on wyldes control passing and final ball we could have a 10 million pound player there also not once today did i have my heart in my mouth about our central defence carlos is composed on the ball and so is goian gone are the days of dodgy davie weirs passing and baldy boughies clueless rampages upfield now im away to finish my carry oot while watching us beat them all over again never doubt again super ally super ally ow whey ow whey ow whey

I wrote a post above yours. McCoist deserves alot of credit today. 2-1 down at half time and we won 4-2. That's down to Allys team talk imo.

19 Sep 2011 00:06:59
ones everybody is fit wee are gonna look very strong but my only worry is Rb because obviously Whitaker does make alot of mistakes and Bigfoot is just Bigfoot but Whitaker actually played well today if he can keep that up he might have a good season but would like to see another right back come in in januray for cover and then wee have good CB big goian and boconegra plus we have bartley and weir then we have Ortiz and bedoya who can play in right wing a quite like the sound of we bedoya also Naismith cm Matt McKay and Davis and edu mculloch left wing the new Argentinean and whylde strikers jelavic and lafferty and we could also put Naismith in there to and healy really rangers have plenty of options