Rangers Banter Archive May 15 2020

15 May 2020 23:34:53
A guy gets a taxi home and when he reaches his house he says to the driver come in i want to show you my house. driver says ok when he goes in he sees this massive hallway with flooring. he says omg that floor is amazing, the guy said i got it off the titanic mate.

then they go upstairs as they go up taxi driver says wow this stairway is beautiful he says i got this off the QE2 when it was decommissioned. then they go into his bathroom the taxi driver looks at the tiles and says omg those tiles are awesome.

the guy says i got them off the queen mary after its last voyage. the taxi driver said that's so cool, then says to the guy hey mate is this a council house the guy says no its a boat house!

15 May 2020 22:05:19
The Glesca budgie hated other birds so much. His owner paired him up with another budgie for company. Next morning the other budgie was dead on the bottom of the cage. The man thought 'I'll sort him out" and went out and bought a parrot with the biggest, most vicious looking beak and put it in with the Glesca budgie. Next morning the parrot is lying dead on the bottom of the cage, both feet in the air.

The man is raging and says "Right, that's it. I'll sort that budgie out for good" and puts a torn faced, huge hawk in beside him. Next morning the hawk is lying feet up, dead as a dodo on the bottom of the cage. But this time the Glesca budgie is sitting there, alive but featherless. "Nice try, big man" said the Glesca budgie, "i had to take my jacket off for that one.

15 May 2020 23:13:24
Seeker, i think its you that needs your jacket after that, mate, lol.

15 May 2020 23:46:36
Paul 😂.

16 May 2020 17:25:14
I was laughing before the punchline there. That was right up my street.

Possibly the funniest one of you have posted yet.

15 May 2020 18:15:15
First post. just a thought.
We are lucky that in Scotland that teams will have played each other home and away already. To avoid the unfairness of the lack of symmetry, the league should be based on the table at this point of the season. Points per game average pits Rangers on top (as we have the game in hand v St Johnstone) . If this was put to all the clubs that are desperate to end the season, how many would agree to that?

15 May 2020 19:38:25
Very interesting point Bear Abroad. Can’t say I’d looked at the Home and Away standings but that would have seemed very sensible.

15 May 2020 23:20:30
Bearabroad, i was reading just now that the dutch teams due promotion have been refused by there courts over there, maybe we have as much rights in our wee country, dutch now say nill & void, well there legal people said so. mate.

15 May 2020 17:46:21
A guy walked towards me with 2 dogs I said are they jack russells he said no their mine.

15 May 2020 19:08:41
A man sitting on a plane to New York when a beautiful woman sits in the seat beside him. They start to talk and the woman tells him she’s going to a nymphomananaic convention as guest speaker to dispel a few myths. The man asks like what? The woman says like the most well endowed men are black American when it is really native Indians also french men aren’t most romantic its Greek men and the best lovers are Irishmen. The woman says to the man I can’t believe I’m telling you all this and I don’t even know your name. Tonto the man replies Tonto Pappadopalus butmy palscall me Paddy.

15 May 2020 23:21:08
pat & mick go for job interview, the interviewee, shout first so pat enters the room, the workie asks, what's your name,? Pat was the reply, the workie punched pat in the face, your name i asked, pat was the reply, guy boots him off the chair, kicks him in head (mick is sitting outside rubbishing himself).

what's your name as he kick pats face, patrick was the reply, the workie said that's better why didn't you tell me that the first time i asked? pat leaves the room, next mick walks in, the interviewee asks what's your name, mick he replied, mick what? , eh micktrick. lol.

15 May 2020 23:53:07
The auld yins are the best paulellen 😂😂.

16 May 2020 11:13:55
Seeker, for definite mate, i heard that joke of mine in the late 70s mate, it always gets a laugh in the boozers, where you can mimic your jokes, I've always been told i like an audience, its the way you tell them lol, mate.

15 May 2020 12:37:29
Been reading on follow follow about season book being paid for in full and cancellations being sent out but no refunds yet. Has it happened to anyone on here.

15 May 2020 13:17:33
I think that happened to some of our supporters who didn't actually renew their season ticket with the actual renewal email that was sent out. They renewed through the website which wasn't the proper link seemingly.

15 May 2020 15:05:40
Iom has it happened to u, it’s down to individuals incorrectly following instructions on line. They r clicking wrong box.

15 May 2020 15:33:50
Agreed John but they said money would be returned in 3-5 days and by the looks of it no one had anything yet, this is from the start of the month.

15 May 2020 15:50:14
More negativity, my mate done it and has his Monet back.
If u pay other stuff on line incorrectly it takes 28 days for it to be returned
Is your money safe.

15 May 2020 16:02:13
Where did they say3-5 days. You need to fill out form and send to rangers where they say they will acknowledge receipt off form and return money ASAP.

15 May 2020 16:37:07
If you read the post on FF it's Rangers laison officer that said 3-5 working days.

15 May 2020 16:54:54
Goodness me mull?

15 May 2020 17:33:46
Yes it's happened to me i got a renewal email followed the links paid in full on 1st of may then on the 4th had an email saying cancelled.

The email only had 12 link and 1 payment method open to me, since i've had no reply or any indication of when my refund will be issued and i won't be buying another until it's refunded. 11 days waiting on an email reply is a joke.

15 May 2020 12:27:57
guy walks into a bar asks the barman do you serve catholics the barman says yes the guy says well a pint for me and a catholic for him.

15 May 2020 08:44:46
I'll share this rangers goalkeeper question i was asked, with all my fellow bears on here.
I know it will come down to different ages thus different eras. Name the top 3 goalies that you've seen playing for rangers, in order 1st,2nd&3rd? I had no hesitation in naming my top 3,ie.1st. Andy Goram,2nd. Chris Woods and 3rd. Allan Mcgregor. For the record stefan klos would be a very close 4th!

15 May 2020 09:51:16
Supercoop, I would have to go:

1. Goram
2. Klos
3. McGregor

For the older fans, Billy Ritchie wasn't a bad goalie either!

15 May 2020 10:24:09
1.Goram
2.Klos
3.McGregor.

15 May 2020 10:41:29
1 Goram. 2 Woods. 3 Klos. Graeme Roberts wasn’t bad either lol.

15 May 2020 11:38:22
Goram
Mcgregor
Klos

Remember Roberts conducting the fans, 5-1 at Ibrox loved him.

15 May 2020 11:39:29
Very funny jaws.
1. Stefan Klos
2. Goram
3. Lionel Charbonnier
Unlucky for Anti Neimy not to be one of them.

15 May 2020 11:41:44
Agree Jaws, Goram, Klos and Woods for me, I also remember George Niven and Billy Ritchie, and of Couse our favourite Cross Bar swinger Big Gas Meter McCloy.

15 May 2020 12:58:50
Oat lander he conducted the fans in the 2-2 draw at ibrox mate. We came from 2 behind with 9 men after woods and butcher had been sent off.

15 May 2020 14:17:42
Those who mention Ritchie, Niven or McCloy must have been wearing blinkers, all three were bang average keepers. Klos, Goram and Woods were in a different league to the rest, including McGregor.

15 May 2020 14:29:01
Loved Klos and especially Goram but actually think that McGregor is the better all round keeper.

1. McGregor
2. Goram
3. Klos (third because of that game against Feyenoord - I could see where those free kicks were heading before he even took them! Still Ragin! )

15 May 2020 14:43:29
Big Peter the Gas Meter is a legend but just a missed out on my top 3. Couldn’t catch a ball and had to parry every shot round the post. Was the keeper when I first started to follow the Famous. Klos technically the best keeper to play for Rangers and probably in the history of the Scottish game but Goram gets the number one spot just because he just would not let the Tims win. McGregor sneaks third just ahead of Woods.
And who could forget Stuart Kennedy.

15 May 2020 15:04:31
Covenanter Why are you having a go at irvger because he mentioned Ritchie Niven and McCloy. If you read his post again he never said they were his best 3. Incidentally the Girvan Lighthouse was the Only keeper to win a European Trophy with Rangers. Goram Klos Woods for me 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿🇦🇺⚽️😎👍.

15 May 2020 15:07:50
Goram
Woods
Klos.

15 May 2020 16:09:14
Goram, Klos, Woods for me but maybe I'm still a bit raw about how McGregor left in 2012.

15 May 2020 16:13:50
Remember Stuart Kennedy, sure he let 5 in playing for Scotland was it against England ❓.

15 May 2020 16:50:14
Cheers Cunny, some folk need to get to Specsavers mate, stay safe pal, I see the pubs are open in Australia today.

15 May 2020 16:58:41
Every saturday, yip. Remember it well, mate.

16 May 2020 08:49:20
Irvger Nae bother pal. Pubs are open on the Monday 18th here in Perth Western Australia. Only allowed 20 inside and must be eating. Can’t remember how many outside. My local holds at least 200 inside and out Don’t think they are opening Not worth it. Stay safe. 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿🇦🇺⚽️😎👍.

16 May 2020 09:00:21
Oatlander Wembley 1975 5 / 1 game 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿🇦🇺⚽️😎👍.

16 May 2020 11:21:52
Govan front, that would be my three also, mate.